BREAKING UP

Breakups can turn your world upside down. In addition to the unavoidable heartache and emotional trauma of ending a relationship, there can also be financial and legal complications if you share a home, or other assets, or have children together. It’s awful, and seldom simple. Most of us have gone through a difficult breakup at some point in our lives.

As important as it is to work hard on your relationships, sometimes, it just doesn’t work, and when you know it’s over, you know. And it can be terrifying.

If you are going through this right now, remember that you are not alone.

Reasons I stayed in an unhappy relationship for so long:

·      I thought that breaking up would be quitting/failing.

·      I hoped that “love” was enough to make my relationship work.

·      We’d both invested so much time into each other.

·      I thought that my ex would eventually see my side of things, and understand my needs, after many years of not being able to.

·      Familiarity, comfort, laziness

·      The thought of starting over was so scary.

·      We still had moments of fun and connection.

·      I feared my relationship expectations were unrealistic.

·      I thought that I might not ever fall in love again.

·      I thought that maybe I still needed to learn something from the relationship.

·      I didn’t want my ex to be with anyone else.

·      I didn’t want to lose our joint social circle.

·      I was so used to not looking around, I couldn’t imagine another potential romantic partner.

·      I started to believe that there was no such thing as a happy relationship.

·      Dating sounded like a nightmare.

What happened when I ended the unhappy relationship:

·      I felt sad, lonely, sick, and like a failure for a few months, but then I began to feel exponentially better with every passing month.

·      I reveled in the freedom of making choices without worrying about my ex’s opinions or feelings.

·      I was better able to focus on who I really was, and what I wanted.

·      I stopped being angry with, and forgave, my ex and myself.

·      I had more energy and time for my friends and family, to support them, and be supported by them.

·      The absence of the weight of trying to force something to work that didn’t, made me feel light and free.

·      I completely reevaluated what I was looking for in a relationship and partner.

·      I gained perspective on the bad habits I’d developed, and how to improve them.

·      I started treating myself better, and others did too.

·      I took bigger risks in my personal and professional life, and was able to accomplish things I never thought I could.

·      I began to love myself more.

·      Interesting romantic prospects suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

·      I changed my approach to dating, and it started to be fun.

·      I fell in love with a friend, who had been there all along.

·      I’m madly in love, and happier than I’ve ever been.

Sometimes, the first step in surviving a breakup is to let yourself fall apart a little, so that you can put yourself back together, and be stronger and better. Change is necessary for growth, even though change can sometimes be painful and overwhelming.

Allow yourself time to grieve, and be gentle with yourself.

Reach out for support, and be willing to accept it. Look for advice from people who know what they’re talking about - who are in a place that you’d like to be, doing things you want to do, and who are good role models. Find the people and activities that inspire you. Remember that in order to get something that you’ve never had before, you have to do something that you’ve never done before. This is a time to set goals, and create a plan – in all facets of your life – personal, spiritual, financial, professional, physical, and emotional.

At ModernBlindDates.com, we have so many wonderful resources to help you get back on track after a breakup. We offer personal coaching, as well as fitness and fashion consultants who are excited to help you get out there into the dating world again. Whether we are single, or in a relationship, we are always responsible for our own lives and happiness. Go get yours.