What if a first date doesn’t go well?

Meeting someone for a first date is nerve-wracking for all of us. There are few situations that make us feel more vulnerable or self-conscious, and we often place far too much weight on these initial interactions. Sometimes, fear of rejection can keep people from even trying to meet that special someone. The very idea of a perfect stranger rejecting us seems like too much of an emotional bungee jump to risk.

But, the important thing to remember is that WE ARE ALL GOING THROUGH THIS. Every man and woman going on dates is feeling some version of this - we are all human, with a need for acceptance, understanding, and love.  We’re on the SAME SIDE here, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. Of course, we all have different ways of seeking these things, and some of us are much better communicators than others. But deep down, we all want the same things.

Making deep personal and romantic connections with other people is a rare and beautiful thing. If it were common and easy to find, millions of people around the world wouldn’t be turning to websites and companies to aid in this process. And no matter how you approach dating, it is always a bit of a risk to put yourself out there. But there is NO SHORTCUT to making real, live, intimate connections with people. You must change out of your pajamas and get yourself out of the house and in front of other people in order to find this.

When there isn’t a first date connection, it’s often worthwhile to go on a second date, to get past the initial nervousness and really give each other a chance. I’ve seen so many instances where people don’t really click until the second or third date. In today’s drive-thru dating culture, people often only give others one brief chance to make a first impression, and it is such a shame to limit ourselves like that. It’s so worthwhile to take a few dates to really get past the superficial first date mask that most of us wear, to get to know the real live person underneath.

Chances are, you will experience rejection. But, this does NOT mean that you are not enough, it just means that you have not yet met your match. You won’t be drawn to every single person that you meet- you’re not SUPPOSED TO BE - and that in NO way means that those are not wonderful, quality people. Their interests, values, or humour may just not be compatible with yours, even though you’re both amazing people with a lot to offer. This goes both ways, so remember that, and be gentle with yourself. It’s not all about you. Everyone has different needs and interests, and that has nothing at all to do with your personal worth. We don’t all connect. If we did, love wouldn’t be such a precious commodity.

The most important thing is to be yourself, and make a real effort to get to know other people. Maybe you will fall in love, or make a new friend, or maybe you will learn something new about yourself, and what you’re really looking for. That is what dating is really all about.