Second Chances

Are you a serial First Dater?

Often, we make up our minds about a person within the first five minutes of meeting them. 

One of our favourite ModernBlindDates clients recently wrote us a letter explaining why she will not make that mistake again.

Enjoy. <3

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Why I would highly recommend going on a second date:

I am newly divorced, and had never really dated in my life. I married my high school sweetheart, and we were together for 18 years. So, when it was suggested to me that I join ModernBlindDates, where my first date ever would be a blind date, let me tell you- terrified was an understatement! 

I was nervous, and didn't know what I was doing, or what to expect. Being 37, and growing up with the fairytale mentality, I expected dates to be magical. I expected it to be like Cinderella & Prince Charming - a fairytale "Love at First Sight", with a passionate, amazing spark, and my own Fairy Godmother. 

So, even though my first date was perfect on paper, and you couldn't have picked a better person for me; because it wasn't fireworks and sunshine as far as the connection was concerned - I turned down the opportunity to go on another date with him. I did this a few times.

Well, as time went on, and I'd had more time to think about it,  I realized that turning down the second date was a big mistake! 

I've since gone on a first date where I had been initially thrilled, felt the spark, and thought everything was wonderful - so I decided to go on a second date with him. What a horrible MESS the second date was. His true colors started to shine through, and I didn't like what I saw at all. He turned out to be somewhat of a know-it-all, and I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that it was nothing like the first date, and we did NOT click. So, this got me thinking, "Wait a second! I've been set up on a few dates with ModernBlindDates, and have turned down going on second dates with the men, even though they were fun and we had a lot in common! I was looking for the Cinderella spark."

 I now realize that on the first date, especially a blind date, you're really quite nervous, and it can be hard to show who you really are through all of the nerves and worrying about being accepted. You're too busy wondering what they are thinking of you, if they think that you're attractive enough, smart enough, fun enough, successful enough, and if they're going to want to go on another date with you. I can tell you that the next time I'm set up on a date with  ModernBlindDates, I will be going on a second date! I can honestly tell you that as long as he is somewhat interesting, kind, and respectful to me and others on the first date, I will give him that second chance. And not just men, but I'll give myself that second chance to find the right person for me, at this time in my life. I think I worded it that way because they don't necessarily have to be the person for the rest of my life, and I think I was putting too much emphasis and merit into that. After all- what if they are someone who fits perfectly into my life just for right now? What if we have great fun together, but it only last two months, or seven months, or a year? Or maybe they could turn out to be the love of my life - I don't know. But, I will never know if I don't open myself up to the opportunity, and give us both a chance to get past the nerves and judgment. 

So, I guess the moral I've learned is to give people the chance they deserve, to give yourself the chance you deserve, even though you're also nervous and scared, and trying to process 19 million things about that person, instead of relaxing and being yourself. Sometimes, a second chance can make all the difference.

<3